The letter to my son-Brian on his 17th birthday

The letter to my youngest son on his 17th birthday.            Sept.16, 2012

 

To my baby son, our little angel from God – today, you are seventeen years old; sometimes you look like you’re only ten. This is Mommy’s first letter to you. I don’t know if you can understand it, but I believe that when we meet in heaven later, you will tell me that you totally understood our love. Definitely.

The day after you came into this world, I wasn’t sure how long I would have you in my arms. And I would have never expected to celebrate your 17th birthday. Every day and night after your birth, God's mercy, kindness and might has been shown to me. Do you know that every moment we have together are like gifts given to me from God? I used to think that we only had several months or a few years together. I really appreciate the time that we have spent together, every minute and every second. But I know that the mercy that God has given to us is far more abundant than all that we ask or think. 

Before you were born, I knew that you were special. When you were in my womb, my Lord Jesus Christ had told me about your heart problem. I did not understand at that time, not like Mary who kept thinking after angel told her about pregnancy. What I did is obedient to the Lord's arrangement until you were born; just like following your dad’s leading to be baptized in the name of the Lord. Your birth is the evidence of the Lord’s presence and truth.

My dear son, in the past seventeen years, you have shown us God’s will in our family every day. Before I had you, I was very arrogant. I applied scientific knowledge to decide to have a girl or boy before pregnancy. After we had your sister and brother, I had planned that our youngest son would take his father’s handsome appearance and his mother’s easy-going character. But God let me know that His thoughts are so much higher than our own. God is the source of life and the Creator of heaven and of earth. Just as the Bible says: "Children are a heritage of Jehovah; and the fruit of womb is his reward" (Psalm 127:3). With the extra chromosome in their genes, Down syndrome people, including you, all look very similar, regardless of their gender, race, or colour. You all are very kind, simple, and happy. You are not worried about anything and not jealous of others. You make me realize that how Adam lived in the Garden of Eden before the fall of man, and what is the purpose of God in mankind – if you love them, they will love you; when you lead, they will follow. That is the love and grace from God.

Every time that we get home from work, you will be the first one to come out to greet us with hugs and kisses. You will cheerfully put our belongings back to where they belong, even when we don’t remember where they go. Your heart is full of love. You always pay attention to the words and actions of your parents, and do things without us saying anything. I am so touched by many of your actions. Because they are not from our teaching, they are totally given by God. From my experiences with you, I have learned that our God simply expects us to worship Him and understand His words, and to be imitators of Christ. That is the joyful and peaceful life that He gives to us.

You were born with a severe congenital heart disease.  Medical authorities, including myself, thought that you would not survive after birth. Before you were discharged from the hospital, the doctor warned me that I would have difficulty feeding you due to cyanosis - you would have no energy to suck from a bottle. But praise the Lord! "No temptations have overtaken you that are not common to man." (I Corinthians 10:13) God is the one who searches the heart and tests the mind. He will not let us bear the yoke that we are unable to bear. So while I was alone to take care of you, your brother and your sister at the same time, you did not put any extra burden on me. You slept and drank just like ordinary infants. Six months before your heart surgery, you were on oxygen twenty-four hours a day due to your heart condition. But your sickness never affected our daily life. A year and a half after your birth, God had miraculously restored you from the valley of the shadow of death. You started to grow after and continued to prove to the world that, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26).

You grew up in the church life with your older brother and sister. You always sat excitedly in the middle of the brothers and sisters and clapped during family gatherings in our house.  When you were a little older, you would arrange the chairs before the meeting started and help clean up the table after it ended. Every Sunday morning, you would happily hold our Bible bags and go to church with us. You sat quietly during Sunday worship for several hours and enjoyed it very much. You are a little angel who was sent by God to fulfill each of us in our family. Your presence is making your Mommy, Daddy and your brother and sister know that God is love and learn that the greatest blessings of God are tolerance, patience, and obedience.

My baby boy, it has been seventeen years now. God’s mercy and grace is boundless to us. I do not know how long I can be with you or what kind of trials we will experience in the future. But I am sure that God's grace is sufficient for me. "For I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that he is able to guard until that day what has been entrusted to me." (2 Timothy 1:12). Dear Lord, the only thing that I will continue to ask is that You would please give me one more day than my baby boy in the days of the earth. Then I can come before You with a peaceful mind in heaven. I am sure you will do this for me. Amen!